Images of a man’s incredibly honest and, at times, hilarious ad for the used car he was selling quickly went viral on Twitter. The content of the Craigslist ad, titled “1999 Toyota Corolla – Fine AF,” caught the attention of social media users for its incredibly humorous content, particularly considering its an attempt to sell a used vehicle.
The creator of the hilarious written work, according to a report by Jalopnik, was Jason Hlavenka, a resident of Houston, Texas.
While the original ad has been removed from Craigslist, screenshots are still circulating on social media.
The tweet that made the ad a viral sensation was posted on April 22. Since then, it has gathered more than 368,000 likes, 171,000 retweets, and 1,800 comments.
While Hlavenka stated he originally “had visions of gradually restoring [the Corolla] to its original glory in a rented garage and unveiling the car to my extremely disappointed daughter when she turned 16,” his plans changed after his “wife came across a YouTube video of a head-on crash test between a 1999 Corolla and 2015 Corolla.”
“As you can image,” he said, “’99 Corollas are basically death traps by today’s safety standards, and for the safety of our kids, she insisted we get a new car… safety of our kids, mind you, not me.”
The ad began simply, saying, “You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.”
“The 1999 Toyota Corolla.”
Next, came a list of “features,” including the fact that there was no Bluetooth, sunroof, or fancy wheels. The ad also said, “Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a f***ing neck that can turn.”
“You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would f***ing start right up,” said the ad.
“This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.”
Based on the car’s age, Hlavenka said that the vehicle is “old enough” to vote and “consent to sex.”
“This car’s got history. It’s seen some s***. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a f***ing Volkswagen would.”
He also added “interesting facts,” saying, “This car’s exterior color is gray, but it’s interior color is grey. In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as ‘optional.’ When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary ‘Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla.’”
“This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills,” read the ad.
“When I ran the CarFax for this car,” wrote Hlavenka, “I got back a single piece of paper that said, ‘It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.’”
“Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The f***ing 1999 Toyota Corolla.”
Source: The Tribunist